The Gay French Moon

moon-phases In French, each noun is either a boy or a girl, which means you’ve got a 50% chance of making a mistake that does nothing to impact the actual meaning of the sentence, but which still makes you wrong. This is how French says "screw you" to every student of the language.

And French isn’t the only dick here: most Indo-European languages have gendered nouns too. We don’t have infinite space in our brains yet the speakers of these languages are forced to use up precious neurons remembering whether the moon – the MOON ladies and gentlemen – is a boy or a girl. SPOILER ALERT: It’s a dude. Well, it is to the Polish but to the French it’s a chick. Hey, hope you didn’t need to remember where you put your keys or anything.

But hey – "what’s up with him?" you might ask. Did somebody just fail a test on the gender of French nouns? Well if you’re asking on whether I failed to care about imaginary moon sex organs then YES.

I mean, why don’t we give everything an imaginary sexual orientation while we’re at it? From now on, the moon is gay! The Earth is heteroflexible and the moon: 100% super homosexual. This means it’s a lesbian to the French and a gay guy to the Polish – this will make sense to them.

Attention: This started out as sarcasm but now I’m honestly in total agreement with the idea of a French gay moon.

To be fair, I’ve always had my suspicions.


P.S. For more amazing humour like this, take a look at


2 thoughts on “The Gay French Moon

  1. HAHAHAHA. I’m so far behind on blogging, but I’m glad I caught this mini-rant of yours. It made me chuckle silently to myself (cubicle life, what can I say?).

    Also, really hope you’re able to catch ‘Glee’ episodes in real US-airing time because last night’s was AMAZING. At least, I was squirming around due to multiple giggle fits.

    • Glad I made you smile – though I have to give you some credit for putting me onto the Dinosaur comics from which this is adapted. I’m not brilliant enough to come up with this myself!
      And yes – I’ve been watching Glee on US time. I squealed like a little girl at the last episode.

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