Now, some of my lovely readers support UKIP and I fully support your right to do so, this is not a personal dig against you, it’s an effort to inform people of why I (and a lot of other people) think that UKIP really have lost it, that they’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer. In fact I’d go so far as to say that they’re a fork in the knife drawer of politics trying to make sure that nobody else notices.
In this blog I will only use UKIP’s manifesto for the 2010 general election and not any anti-UKIP publications to make my point. After a quick summary read of their… policies, I’m fairly certain that I won’t need anything else to make my case. You might want to make yourself a large drink as it’s quite a long blog. You might also want to have another large drink of your favourite hard liquor to hand so you can down it at the end to help you forget the stupidity that is all around you.
UKIP Sucks At Trade “UKIP will leave the political EU and trade globally and freely. We will re-embrace today’s fast-growing Commonwealth and we will encourage UK manufacturing so that we make things again.”
By their very definition, UKIP wishes to secede from the EU not just politically but also in terms of removing a whole load of trade agreements and benefits. Now I know that EU trade has more than its fair share of set-backs for the UK but seriously, to nullify all the EU trade agreements would be an utter disaster. For one thing, the price of French wine would go up and that isn’t something I’m going to be voting for anytime soon. Not to mention the price cosmetics and a lot of fashion (do these people not know where Paris is?)
Even though there needs to be a serious overhaul of some of the EU food trade policies, especially the fishing and some farming ones, I can’t honestly say that leaving the EU is the way forward. It’s like kids playing in the playground and the UK owns the football. The UK gets miffed at little Nicolas and Angela and so we threaten to take our ball home unless they let us write the rules. For goodness’ sake – we’ve been criticising the French for doing that for years!
Oh and while we’re on this quote, do they really want to “re-embrace [the] Commonwealth”? I know that the Commonwealth has some great opportunities, especially for a lot of developing countries but I’m not quite ready to go about embracing anything which we screwed up so royally just yet thanks.
Another point on the language: “we will encourage UK manufacturing so that we make things again.” No! Really? Is that what manufacture means? Well I never.
UKIP Can’t Run Immigration For Toffee “We will freeze immigration for five years, speed up deportation of up to a million illegal immigrants by tripling the numbers engaged in deportations, and have ‘no home no visa’ work permits to ease the housing crisis.”
Are they serious? FREEZE immigration? So I’m guessing that they’ve made sure that there won’t be any huge humanitarian disasters that require the UK to come to the aid of thousands of refugees in the next five years then. They’ve also had a word with lots of lovely people like Mr. Mugabe to make sure that they’ll stop torturing their citizens and threatening to kill them so that none of them flee the the UK have they? Oh, and have they also checked that this will definitely not foster a greater attitude of racism in Britain?
“No home no visa”? Oh yeah that’s right, because all political refugees manage to secure a nice little two bed place in Milton Keynes before they flee for their lives.
I mean, I know that immigration in the UK needs work but again, you can’t just sever the problem to solve it! It’s like sticking your fingers in your ears and going “Lalalalalala I can’t hear you Mr. I’ve-been-tortured-for-speaking-out-against-your-government.” If you freeze immigration, you stop all the legitimate and needy people finding shelter in the UK each year. Seriously, did a bunch of 5 year olds think up these policies?
UKIP Wants To (and I quote) “Scrap the HUMAN RIGHTS ACT” “We will… go back to proper beat policing and scrap the Human Rights Act.”
Need I say any more on this topic? Scrap the Human Rights Act? For goodness’ sake. Totalitarian Much?
UKIP Doesn’t Really Get The Environmental Issues (and it’s racist) “We will say No to green taxes and wind farms. To avert a major energy crisis, we will go for new nuclear power plants on the same existing site facilities and for clean coal. We will reduce pollution and encourage recycling.”
Ok, so I’m not against nuclear power at all, in fact I’m all for it, but come on! They want to say no to wind farms? What’s wrong with wind farms? Yes, they could be more efficient but that’s no reason to scrap them all together and just pile on the nuclear bandwagon. Here we have another example of UKIP going to the extreme just to make a point, and yet again it’s not even a good point to make.
Thanks UKIP also for being so fantastically specific. You’ll “reduce pollution” will you? Mind telling us how you plan on doing that? Any thoughts? Ok then, I’ll read your policy on the environment *reads policy* Yeah… about that UKIP, there still wasn’t much specificity in those three hastily scribbled short paragraphs on reducing pollution. All you do is say that you’ll review the problem (paragraph 1) blame the EU (paragraph 2) and then say that you’ll review the problem again (paragraph 3). Don’t believe me? Check it out right here (sections 15.1 and 15.2 on pages 18 and 19).
While you’re there reading their ‘Secure Energy, Better Environment’ policy, why not head down to the section on controlling population growth which they managed to slip in there quite slyly (sections 7.1, 7.2 and 7.3 on pages 6 and 7). It starts by moaning about the high population density in the UK compared to – wait for it – countries such as the USA and Sweden which both have large portions of desert tundra (Nevada, Alaska, and then the 60% of Sweden that is uninhabitable). What is the cause of such gross overpopulation? You guessed it people, it’s (and I quote) “almost entirely due to immigration” and I bet they had a huge argument and one of their candidates is now sulking in a corner because of the inclusion of the word ‘almost’. Then in section 7.3, they tell us stuff about India and China which has very little relevance until you remember that this is their policy on the environment and not immigration.
Oh yeah, and by the way: clean coal is a myth. It says so right here. And here. And here. And here. There is one article I found which didn’t say that clean coal was a myth though. It called it a dirty lie instead.
UKIP Is [more blatantly] Hypocritical [than the other guys] “…We will make foreign lorries pay for British roads with a ‘Britdisc’ – and we will stop persecuting motorists.”
Does nobody else see the blatant hypocrisy in this sentence? No? It’s just me? Then what about this one then:
“UKIP’s Defence Vision recommendations:To… support our traditional partners. To disentangle our forces from the EU…” Surely we’re traditional partners with the EU? No? Plate tectonics changed much in the past few years around Europe have they? There’s a reason we’re in the EU you know. It’s because we’re in Europe.
UKIP Promises The Impossible “To increase the Army to at least 125,000 personnel (trained requirement) in order to enable it to cope with its existing deployment and roles. To double the Territorial Army in size from 37,000 to 75,000 soldiers.”
Aside from promising to withdraw from Europe and then still having a manageable economy, they also promise to add thousands of troops to the army. Let’s just back up a minute. I’m all for extra spending on the British Army, we desperately need it these days, but promising to create 25,000 new troops is a non-starter. Do these people know how people join the army? People have to choose to join. It’s not forced conscription! Do they want a far right totalitarian regime? Oh… wait, yeah, they probably do. Do they seriously realise just how hard it is to increase recruitment by that margin? Very hard.
They also say that they want to “To maintain Britain’s independent nuclear deterrent with existing Trident submarines, and to replace them with four British built US missile armed submarines.” To which I say “HELL NO!” and direct their attention to the excellent work of President Obama in championing the cause of nuclear disarmament (hence his Nobel Peace Prize).
Oh, and did I mention that…
UKIP is Racist “The [other parties] have agreed that Turkey should become a full member of the EU. If this happens, millions of Muslims would have the right to come and and live here. This would lead to great social upheaval in the UK…”
Need I really say anymore? They also have a policy on Restoring Britishness for goodness’ sake! For one thing, I’m pretty sure that Britishness isn’t a real word and secondly, said policy is so trickily worded that it just highlights the fact that they really want to say something but they think that they might get told off for it. OK so they’re not as racist as the BNP but they’re not people I’d be able to agree with on any day. I say they’re like the BNP but not as angry. Vote them in and you’ll get a tidal wave of racist policies and attitudes throughout Britain I guarantee you though.
Oh and apparently, I’m a threat to ‘Britishness’:
“Threats to Britishness – The British Cultural Left: The British cultural/Marxist left has spent decades undermining British values and institutions. It has cast even the most sober and understated expressions of pride in nationhood as ‘racist’ and casts Britain as a historical villain guilty of slavery, colonialism and various other real and imagined wrongs. The current British establishment ironically is anti-British in important respects. This world view often relies on large grants to its ‘equality’ and ‘diversity’ quangos and strategic positions in the media, education and the legal system. The cultural left has also supported multiculturalism and supranationalism, both of which undermine a unified sense of being ‘British’.”
I love the sentence I underlined, why did they feel the need to include the phrase “real or imagined wrongs” while not listing any of these “imagined” wrongs? Was it to cast aspersions on the above claims? I couldn’t possibly speculate… although I just have. I’ll let you do the rest of the thinking.
I really could go on but I’ve already given you over 1800 words to read so I’ll stop here. I mean I still have about ten tabs open with all of UKIP’s different policies on this and that and I’m pretty confident that immigration will be blamed for any problems in at least half of them.
UKIP’s website is a bit of a maze and even after searching specifically for certain policies and statements on particular issues, UKIP was found to be sadly lacking in comment or at least more than a scrambled sentence on a number of important issues, such as the Armed forces continuing policy in Afghanistan, the pro life/pro choice debate, civil partnerships & gay marriage, and generally most other things pertaining to basic human rights. Their list of policies on Education looked like a brochure for a day-care centre with all the pictures of happy smiley children, the lack of a table of contents and the lack of coherence. Well, as long as we’re not in the EU and we have plenty to say on women wearing the Muslim veil it’ll all be fine right?
Thanks for reading! If you got through it all I’m pretty impressed with you. I almost died writing this. Sometimes from laughing at their childishness and other times from rage at their idiocy. I also had a bit of a headache with the grammar, UKIP is singular but some times only the plural sounds correct. Meh, you probably hadn’t noticed/don’t care so I’ll just shut up.
All quotes are either from various sections on the Campaign Policies section of UKIP’s website: http://www.ukip.org/content/ukip-policies or from one of their Facebook groups http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=mf&gid=325792372662
Slightly Related Video Of The Day:
One thing I will applaud UKIP for however, is this MEP’s speech to the new President of the European Union. It’s pretty funny and he manages not only to insult the new president, but also to call Belgium a (and I quote) “non-country”. Not quite sure where he got that one from but it’s still rather funny.