Thursday

"I like my coffee like I like my Mondays, a bottomless cup of black bitterness" @abigvictory

 

Ok, so today wasn’t a Monday, though given my general lack of cognitive ability on Thursdays, you probably could have convinced me that it was a Monday. I, like the esteemed Arthur Dent of Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy fame, really can’t cope with Thursdays. Mr Dent, when his house was to be bulldozed to make way for a new public bypass and when his planet was destroyed to make way for a new interstellar bypass exclaimed: "This must be Thursday […] I never could get the hang of Thursdays." and I identify totally with his sentiment.

In an effort to make myself more alive this morning, I came up with the brilliant idea of combining the awakening properties of both coffee and ginseng*. This may sound complicated and nasty tasting but I assure you that few things could be easier and I honestly didn’t notice that much of a taste difference. Given that the Korean export ginseng I acquired in Paris is in soluble form, all it takes is to pour one sachet into my coffee mug and bingo – ginseg-coffee.

Unfortunately, the only effect this concoction had upon me was to zombify me. I wandered to my first class of the day totally spaced out. I could see and control what was happening but I couldn’t close my eyes at all. It was trippin’.

Then came the totally unmotivated class which sat there and looked at me as if I’d just insulted their collective mothers and repeatedly run over their pet cats or dogs with a steam roller. Trust me, were I to have had a weapon to hand, I probably would have used it; though I honestly couldn’t say whether I’d have killed them or myself.

There were two hilariously redeeming moments in teaching today however. The first came when I was doing the Hot Ait Balloon exercise with a class. For those of you unfamiliar with this game, I give each of the pupils an identity (for example: Nicolas Sarkozy or the Queen of England) and then we pretend that everybody is in a hot air balloon that is going down and one person has to be thrown out to keep the balloon from smashing into the ground. Each pupil has to say why they should stay in the hot air balloon and who they think should be tossed out. In this balloon were Presidents Sarkozy and Obama, the Queen, the Pope, a doctor, a parent of seven children and an actor. The actor stood up and said: "I think that Nicolas Sarkozy should be thrown out because he is a bad president. Also, Barrack Obama should be thrown out. Because I’m racist." Priceless.

The second fun filled moment was in a different class when I was having students make up slogans to different products. When asked to create a slogan for some perfume, one of the pupils put up his hand with his suggestion: "If you stink, wear this perfume."

 

*Ginseng is a tea like drink which has caffeine-like qualities and is also said to be good for curing any minor illness such as a cold or a headache. Click here for the Wikipedia page on ginseng.

P.S.V.

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